I have a head cold.
AND
It's raining and cold outside.
So much runs through my mind.
Good, bad, ugly, what if's and what might be's.
I feel like crying and falling into a pity party.
Memories of old vices pop up like a snake out of the blue.
Thank God in this storm
and every one I run into for the rest of my life,
I know where to place my trust.
I know who to call on.
I don't need a man, or a shoulder, or a drug.
I can simply call on Jesus' Name and He comforts me.
He reminds me of WHO I am, who HE says I am.
I can be comforted by the fact that He has given me so much.
I have friends, I have people who love me (near and far).
I have beautiful children whom God has seem fit to love and forgive me.
Pity, pride, selfishness... those are all straight from Satan.
I can relax and lean on God.
I can take time to worship our mighty Creator.
I can be thankful for all He has done and will continue doing.
I can try to be the obedient, faithful servant He has called me to be.
I will lean on Him in EVERY storm.
You can't make this stuff up... And yeah, I cuss here. Well, I have. I have new convictions over the words I speak. One of the many changes God has brought in my life.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Monday, December 22, 2014
All I can do is pray
I have to just stop and pray. I beg God to intercede. I feel trapped like an animal in a cage. I can see you through the window, maybe touch you through the fence. But that's all.
I made mistakes. I did wrong. I feel like I will never be acceptable to you. Like you plan on keeping me locked away forever.
You have no idea about who I am even when I try to tell you. You still believe I am a creature that is not me.
Father God, please intercede. Show them the truth. Help me be the true person you created. Open eyes and hearts and allow understanding... from both sides.
I made mistakes. I did wrong. I feel like I will never be acceptable to you. Like you plan on keeping me locked away forever.
You have no idea about who I am even when I try to tell you. You still believe I am a creature that is not me.
Father God, please intercede. Show them the truth. Help me be the true person you created. Open eyes and hearts and allow understanding... from both sides.
Saturday, October 18, 2014
Going Back to Go Forward
I have to say that if I had not found HARVEST EVANGELISM when I did, I would probably be dead.
www.harvestevangelism.org
I also need to thank Danny and Rachel Blackston who followed God's calling to push, pull and sometimes drag me into a place where I had to listen to God for myself.
< I also need to say that there is much opposition for me to post this! I am on my 3rd try!>
Romans 1: 16 - 25 (NASB)
16For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. 17For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “BUT THE RIGHTEOUS man SHALL LIVE BY FAITH.”
Unbelief and Its Consequences
18For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, 19because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. 20For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. 21For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. 22Professing to be wise, they became fools, 23and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures. 24Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. 25For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.
See, I had become a "backslider". This is just a word to "sugar coat" the truth that I had given up on my faith in God and began to sin more in many ways, including idolatry, adultery and worshipping false gods... mainly the false god I tried to make God into.
I KNEW God. But my heart was darkened. I was like the woman of Samaria that Jesus met at the well...
John 4: 7-26 (NASB)
The Woman of Samaria
7There came a woman of Samaria to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give Me a drink.” 8For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food. 9Therefore the Samaritan woman said to Him, “How is it that You, being a Jew, ask me for a drink since I am a Samaritan woman?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) 10Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” 11She said to Him, “Sir, You have nothing to draw with and the well is deep; where then do You get that living water? 12“You are not greater than our father Jacob, are You, who gave us the well, and drank of it himself and his sons and his cattle?” 13Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; 14but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”
15The woman said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, so I will not be thirsty nor come all the way here to draw.” 16He said to her, “Go, call your husband and come here.” 17The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’; 18for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly.” 19The woman said to Him, “Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet. 20“Our fathers worshiped in this mountain, and you people say that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship.” 21Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe Me, an hour is coming when neither in this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. 22“You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23“But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers. 24“God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” 25The woman said to Him, “I know that Messiah is coming (He who is called Christ); when that One comes, He will declare all things to us.” 26Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am He.”
I have to say, once I realized that God KNEW me, I came to have a relationship to Him that I have never had before in my life. Not only did He know my name, He loves me, despite my unworthiness!
www.harvestevangelism.org
I also need to thank Danny and Rachel Blackston who followed God's calling to push, pull and sometimes drag me into a place where I had to listen to God for myself.
< I also need to say that there is much opposition for me to post this! I am on my 3rd try!>
Romans 1: 16 - 25 (NASB)
16For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. 17For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “BUT THE RIGHTEOUS man SHALL LIVE BY FAITH.”
Unbelief and Its Consequences
18For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, 19because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. 20For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. 21For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. 22Professing to be wise, they became fools, 23and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures. 24Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. 25For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.
See, I had become a "backslider". This is just a word to "sugar coat" the truth that I had given up on my faith in God and began to sin more in many ways, including idolatry, adultery and worshipping false gods... mainly the false god I tried to make God into.
I KNEW God. But my heart was darkened. I was like the woman of Samaria that Jesus met at the well...
John 4: 7-26 (NASB)
The Woman of Samaria
7There came a woman of Samaria to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give Me a drink.” 8For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food. 9Therefore the Samaritan woman said to Him, “How is it that You, being a Jew, ask me for a drink since I am a Samaritan woman?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) 10Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” 11She said to Him, “Sir, You have nothing to draw with and the well is deep; where then do You get that living water? 12“You are not greater than our father Jacob, are You, who gave us the well, and drank of it himself and his sons and his cattle?” 13Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; 14but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”
15The woman said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, so I will not be thirsty nor come all the way here to draw.” 16He said to her, “Go, call your husband and come here.” 17The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’; 18for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly.” 19The woman said to Him, “Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet. 20“Our fathers worshiped in this mountain, and you people say that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship.” 21Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe Me, an hour is coming when neither in this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. 22“You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23“But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers. 24“God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” 25The woman said to Him, “I know that Messiah is coming (He who is called Christ); when that One comes, He will declare all things to us.” 26Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am He.”
I have to say, once I realized that God KNEW me, I came to have a relationship to Him that I have never had before in my life. Not only did He know my name, He loves me, despite my unworthiness!
Isaiah 43:1 Holman Christian Standard Bible
Restoration of Israel
Even more, He offered restoration of my life to the life he had intended me to have.
Halleluiah!!
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