How can I feel that I love you if I am afraid? I am afraid of being a fool again. Afraid that I will be hurt again. I like you. I care about you. My heart leaps when I think of you.
Is that love?
I worry about you. Trouble has followed you. I can live with that. You have had heart ache and heart break and pain (physical and emotional) that I have not. I have had my own, but it is not the same. We all have aches. Mine seem insignificant to some of yours, but what strikes me is we have both survived and kept moving forward.
I know you are in a rough spot right now.
Your nature seems to me to be someone who keeps it in check for everyone else. So I feel like you are withdrawing because your troubles "don't involve me".
Am I wrong? If so, please tell me. See another part of my nature is that if I do not know what's going on, I assume the worst. All sorts of things run through my goofy skull.
I'd rather be hurt with the truth than soothed by a lie; even a lie of omission.
So to avoid me is as bad as to hit me in some ways. I KNOW you have a lot going on. I want to be part of your life. I want you to be part of mine. I am not sure what you want.
Let me know.
And yes, PMS on birth control makes me a little emotional. I am sorry for that side effect.
Love you, dear.
Kelly
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