Love and Doubt

How can I feel that I love you if I am afraid? I am afraid of being a fool again. Afraid that I will be hurt again. I like you. I care about you. My heart leaps when I think of you.

Is that love?

I worry about you. Trouble has followed you. I can live with that. You have had heart ache and heart break and pain (physical and emotional) that I have not. I have had my own, but it is not the same. We all have aches. Mine seem insignificant to some of yours, but what strikes me is we have both survived and kept moving forward.

I know you are in a rough spot right now.

Your nature seems to me to be someone who keeps it in check for everyone else. So I feel like you are withdrawing because your troubles "don't involve me".

Am I wrong? If so, please tell me. See another part of my nature is that if I do not know what's going on, I assume the worst. All sorts of things run through my goofy skull.

I'd rather be hurt with the truth than soothed by a lie; even a lie of omission.

So to avoid me is as bad as to hit me in some ways. I KNOW you have a lot going on. I want to be part of your life. I want you to be part of mine. I am not sure what you want.

Let me know.

And yes, PMS on birth control makes me a little emotional. I am sorry for that side effect.

Love you, dear.

Kelly
Sent from my BlackBerry® by Boost Mobile

Gypsy with a Heart of Gold

She laughs too loud, Sometimes for too long.
She feels your pain, sometimes too much.

She can love you all night and make you feel like a king.
She will love you even though she wont get a ring.

The price you pay to be with her ranges.
Sometimes you pay with wine, sometimes dollars or clothes.
It's a barter system on the most unusual kind.

She trades random goods for a night of compassion.
She takes your desire for her body and exchanges it for a moments passion.

She desires to please you, but her body is only the beginning of what she offers.
She lays down with you, then lets you tell your tale of woe and loss.

She takes your pain and adds it to hers.
She knows she is stronger and can carry the burden.

She lights your night with her smile and her love.
Then she sets you free to return to your world,
knowing that you have been relieved if only for a while.

The gypsy smiles a sad smile as she imagines the day
that she will be willing to let someone in to her world again,
into her heart again to love her and help carry her pain.

She knows she is and may always be a whore with a heart of gold.

Back again...

Been living and thinking and doing and moving forward... when I get a second I have a new poem-thing to post.

I also plan on updating about my life. Lot's has changed and stayed the same since I last stopped in.

Getting Baptized

As soon as the weather warms I am getting baptized the old fashioned way. Never thought I would but strangely I feel like I should!
My life has made some strange twists and turns. I am excitedly looking forward to the future!
It's like I was told a long time ago. He said, "I still have work for you."

Guess it's time I got to it.